Na Uh! Ya Huh!

Happy Fathers Day

2007-06-17T09:53:00.001-07:00

Thanks to all the Dads, here and gone for the many wonderful things you've done!

Something I whipped up that my Honey loves to eat, an Antipasto plate. We will be going to a pool party this afternoon to celebrate the day, so I'm afraid he'll have to share!

Summer Sweetness

2007-06-14T19:43:00.001-07:00

And yes, they were as good as they look!

Happy Valentines Day

2007-06-13T09:52:00.000-07:00

Guess whose little hands are doing all that creating.

That's right, Mina!!

My little girl was published in the February issue of Parent Life Magazine.
Ah, the fame for a month! ;)

Divorce

2007-06-06T14:01:00.000-07:00

Why does it happen? Better question, how does it happen? How is it, that two people could love each other enough to stand before God and witnesses and vow to love and care for one another until death.......only to end up feeling nothing but hatred.

After sharing several mile stones, emotional as well as intimate moments together......Such as the birth of their children, deaths of friends and family, purchasing their first home, finishing school, starting a business or finally getting that promotion.

After sharing secrets, fears, crazy ideas, doubts.....after sharing a toothbrush, a glass of wine and a bed, it's over.

I am of the full understanding that things change. People change, situations change, things start moving in a different direction. Granted, not always in the best direction and the changes may not be the best at the moment, but does that mean it has to end. Is there no working it out?

Did he wake up one morning and decide his life with her was just that bad. That his sex life was so unsatisfying that he just had to have his needs fulfilled elsewhere. That she just didn't keep house the way he wanted and was a lousy cook. Or, did she wake up and suddenly feel that he was uncaring and insensitive, that he was selfish in bed, didn't handle money in a responsible manner or could careless if he was in her company or not?

They're at the end and now, he dislikes her so much, he promises to quit his job before giving her cent.......Even though it's for his two children. He stops paying the mortgage and is less than a week away of having the electric turned off. So, regardless of the children and their welfare, his hate for her is so great he is willing to allow these everyday necessities to laps because of anger directed at her. She is so beside herself with hate there have been threats made to take care of things with a ball bat and hopes voiced that her attorney will rip him a new place to have a BM! Ouch! Yet just a few years ago they gazed into each others eyes and promised......

Well, I don't have any of the answers to these questions and yes there are many reasons for divorce, still I don't know why it gets that far. However, if it does, she no longer has to love, like, respect or give a rats butt about him as a man or husband.........but, because she cared enough about him at one time to plan and start a family, she must care about him as a father, because their children do. Vise versa!

So, if you can't "I Do" for each other forever, remember to "Do" for the kids!

Side note: No, it's not me threatening with the ball bat.....but for the past couple of months I've been a big ear for two girlfriends who have been struggling with the big "D." Gosh, it's just all so horrible.

A match made to survive

2007-03-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

A conversation regarding a couple we are friendly with came up. Honey and I were working in the yard while the kids played in the woods and on the play set near by. He starts.....

Honey: "Ya know, Monroe, he's a really nice guy. Very genuine."

Me: "Yeah, I like him. He's very funny."

Honey: "I swear you two should have hooked up. You are both exactly the same people."

Me: "Well, not exactly the same."

Honey: "Stupid! You know what I mean."

Me: "Yeah, I know. But that would leave you with Nicole. Then again you are both very much the same....it could possibly work out."

Honey: "Maybe, but it would be hard for me to be with her, now that I've been with you."

Me: "Well thank you Honey!"

Honey: "LOL, you know what I mean. Her body is so different than yours. Really different."

Me: "Well, yeah it is but you'd be OK."

Honey: "I don't know."

Me: "What about me? Monroe is like giant man. He's huge. I mean Honey, he's big!"

Honey: "Oh man! Just because I know you, I can say you'd give him a run for his money but ultimately, he'd kill you."

Me: "I know, I'd be a mere smudge on the sheet but thanks for your vote of confidence."

Honey: "We're just right!"

Me: "Yeah, we are. Aren't we?!"

It's nice to know, that although our personalities are very different, we think differently and react differently to many things he still thinks I'm the piece of life's puzzle that fits him perfectly.

Batman Building

2007-03-22T07:35:00.000-07:00

Just one of the many things that I think is cool......

.....about my city!

It's elementary my dear

2007-03-13T18:39:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you, that is where it's going to stay. Yesterday, I was in a classroom that was working with children that have severe behavior disorders. There were only 6 students in the entire class and there is no way not even one more could have been added. Those 6 were like having 16.

I spent the entire day trying to keep the furniture on the floor. There were chairs being thrown along with books. Desks being flipped. Students screaming at the top of their lungs because their neighbor looked at them. And that was before lunch. Lunch, where my pleasant little girl shoved another students lunch on the floor and refused to do anything, other than sit and kick the table the entire lunch period.

Then it was back to restraining kids and ducking. I was spent by 3p but still had a good day. I truly feel for these kids and restraining them is no fun but I do it. And for that reason, I will stay in the elementary business. I'm certain a student any larger than a 4th grader would pound me into the ground.

Photo Friday

2007-03-09T18:31:00.000-08:00

Standing among the shadows.

On this day I felt very small.

I can't make pearls

2007-03-02T13:37:00.000-08:00

Easy going. Those are two words I think most people that know me, would use to describe me. I don't ever worry about too much, I'm quick to laugh and slow to become annoyed or irritated about anything. Unless of course, it's something I feel very passionate about. But, there are days, moments, even just minutes, I wish I was an oyster.

Yes, an oyster. Hanging out on the ocean floor, taking in all the aquatic beauty, just chilling with my fellow oysters. Although, they too become irritated at times by foreign materials, often the tiniest grain of sand. They respond to these irritants by producing nacre, a combination of calcium and protein. This substance coats the irritating material and over time will produce a pearl. Ah, a pearl after withstanding an irritation or annoyance. See, there is something that comes of their discomfort. However, in order for us to recieve the product, the oyster must give it's life.

So, I'll never be an oyster and for the very reason I mentioned, I'm glad. But in the right frame of mind, I do see that all my trails, tribulations, annoyances and irritants are producing something in me. They are producing, trust, character, patience and increasing my faith, among many other traits I strive to display on a daily basis.

So, although I'll never produce a pearl, I hope that through my life's experiences I will become a gem of sorts. A gem that could someday be looked upon as beautiful.

What must she see?

2007-02-27T14:45:00.000-08:00

Going through closets, a task that is always fun and proving to be entertaining as well. Over the weekend I thought I'd move some things around and more importantly, out of my house. I was making great progress and was just pulling out a 3/4 length, dark colored coat that was still in the dry cleaning bag when Mina appears....

Mina: "Hey Mommy, whatcha doin'?"

Me: "Oh, just going through some things."

Mina: "WOW! Look at that."

Me: "Look at what?"

Mina: "That!!" (pointing at the coat)

Me: "What about it?"

Mina: "Well, nothing. Is that what you wore back in the olden days when you were a nun?"

Me: (Naturally, trying to contain my hysteria) "No Honey, it's just a long coat."

Mina: "Oh, I thought you were a nun, a long, long, long time ago."

Me: "No, sorry Baby that wasn't me. Now go play!"

OK. There are many things wrong with that short little conversation. Because, no matter how many years you go back and apparently there are many, there is no way I could have ever been a nun, ever! (Not then and not now!)

I'm not sure which I find more disturbing...the fact that my 35 years on this earth prior to her birth she finds ancient or that I could have ever possibly been pure enough to be a nun. Hm?

Photo Friday

2007-02-22T19:57:00.000-08:00

After all, nothing is perfect.

"Imperfect"

Questions that are just dumb!

2007-02-19T13:10:00.000-08:00

After 16 years I'm not any closer to understanding why my husband asks such, well.....stupid questions. Such as.....

- Are we out of milk?
No, I thought I'd start keeping it in the kids closet for a change. You might want to check in there.

- Is this mine?
I've prepared a meal, fixed a plate and placed it on the table were you sit. It's really for the man I've been seeing but he can't make it tonight so help yourself.

- Did you buy this?
No, I've spent the last three days planning my big salad dressing in a spray bottle heist at the supermarket.

- Did you pick up the kids?
-Nah, I thought I'd let them hitch hike home from school today. It will be a good experience for them.

- Where are you?
OK, think way back....15 seconds ago of what number you dialed. Where am I? I'm HOME!

- Have you seen my blah, blah, blah?
Baby, I've seen everything you've got. It doesn't mean I have any idea where it is.

- What time is it in there?
OK, our living room and kitchen are not in different time zones. It's exactly the same time if you would just turn your head a fraction to the RIGHT!!

- Where are the kids?
Well, it's 9:15 on a Wednesday. That's right! David called, his parents are out of town, so they're over there partying.

- Are you watching this?
Hm! I'm sitting on the sofa, staring at the square box that has moving people on it and dialogue, telling a story. Nooooo, I'm not watching THAT!!

- Do you have your keys with you?
Lets see. I've just pulled into the driveway, got out of the vehicle and am heading for the house. No. I left them inside, my finger also works well in the ignition.

OK, now don't mistake this as a lack of love for my weirdo. I love him very much but what is that? UGH!!

A new day.....

2007-02-15T15:14:00.000-08:00

....I don't want to waste it.

I'm not really this insensitive

2007-02-10T05:55:00.000-08:00

The death of Anna Nicole Smith is everywhere. Splashed across every news stand, in the news, and taking up air time on special programming, 20/20 etc. And WHY?! Just because she was Anna Nicole Smith? Not a good enough reason.

She was a person and a young person at that, so death is sad, very sad. However, there are more things in this life that touch me, move me to the point of taking action, or just plain sadden me. And I have to say the death of a fast living, drug addicted, self-centered playmate of the year in not one of them. She totally mapped out her own road to destruction by the life she chose to live. Her fame brought about by her blond hair, body and her public display of stupidity! Her popularity, a product of society's emptiness.

The true tragedy is the baby girl she left behind with the men claiming to be her father. My gosh, with 400+ million dollars waiting, who wouldn't make such a claim? I wouldn't be a bit surprise to see a woman step forward, claiming she was her lesbian lover, they were artificially inseminated and she is the rightful guardian. It's all such garbage. Sure I feel badly for the rightful father but I'd love to know if this child came with health issues, ridiculous debt instead of wealth or some other crutch would everyone be so eager to claim this little one? I wonder.

There are so many things in the world that are unjust, that it's hard to feel sorry for someone who has spent their life playing Russian Roulette and finally found the chamber with the bullet.

It could be a long wait

2007-02-09T11:49:00.000-08:00

Not to long ago I was in the company of a young man that I know, but not very well. We were in a social setting and began talking. He is a very nice guy, attractive, in his early thirties and a partner in a local business.

The conversation was easy and comfortable, the weather, business, sports.....blah, blah blah! Then some how we got on the subject of relationships. He asked and I told, yes I'm married and have been with my husband for 16 years, we have two children our son Michael and our daughter Mina and again......blah, blah blah. Now it's my turn. Are you married? He answers no. Do you have a girlfriend? Again, the answer is no. Do you ever hope to be married? His answer, "Oh yes!! I'm just waiting." So now I have to ask, "for what?" His answer, "A virgin!" I know I was looking at him blankly when I said, "oooooooooh, I see."

I wasn't quite sure what to do next. Giggle and wish him the very best of luck on his search, throw my arms around him in pity and inform him he could be in for a life of loneliness or just remind him he was over thirty, in the year 2007 and was living in the United States. Actually, I did none of the above, I think I went back to the weather, that's always safe.

I'm not at all suggesting there aren't any girls or guys for that matter out there that are saving themselves for marriage. Or that some of you that are already married didn't do exactly that. And I do think it's sad that it's such a rarity these days. I feel it's something that should be guarded and preserved unfortunately it's not.

I'm just thankful that wasn't a prerequisite for me to get down the aisle. (whew)

The good, the bad and the heartbreaking

2007-02-01T18:25:00.000-08:00

Having the ability to be in any elementary school in the county, has allowed me to see many things in a very short period of time. Some things are amazing, some are distressing and some are just heartbreaking.

I have been flooded with so many overwhelming emotions, that I've lost sleep. I can't seem to separate myself from them, however, I'm certain I don't want to. The detachment, lack of emotion and compassion is what has caused these circumstances that I find so tragic. Parents who refuse placement of their child in a special needs class for fear of having that child labeled or parents that just don't care. Administration that provides only lip service so all will look good on paper regardless of how it will effect a child. Teachers who have lost their softness and ability to teach and talk to the students, and not at them. However, the worst is having a caring parent, who wants the very best for the child and can't give it to them. They can't because they may be an immigrant family that hasn't mastered the English language and needs help, or they are not connected enough or don't have enough money. There is so much red tape involved that they drown before anything can be done. It's just not right!

This week I was in a Pre-K class with 15, four year olds. I know it sounds insane but it was one of the best days I've had. They were all little balls of sunshine, all wanting to do everything, all at once. There was a special little boy in that class, Patrick. He is autistic, diagnosed severe. He speaks only three words at the age of six and has all the actions of a child with autism. Patrick is a busy boy, it could make you wonder just what exactly he understands or what it is he is thinking. During one of his quiet moments he was sitting against me like a chair. I was talking to him like I would any other child, when he looked up at me with his huge chocolate brown eyes, a wrinkle on his brow and in that split second, if he could speakI believe would have said, "I'm in here, I just can't get out!" Yet he is in a regular education class, UGH!! Heartbreaking.

There is so much need but what do we do, where do we start? For me, it might just start with a little letter!

Voluminous my EYE!

2007-01-22T16:48:00.000-08:00

It never fails, the moment I start feeling a little rushed in the morning, it happens. Right in the eye, with not even a blink, just straight it. Yes, I'm talking about the mascara brush. Nothing like a little L'oreal Paris original on the cornea at 6:45a.

Not being a girly girl, I take great pains every morning to do this. Granted, mascara and a little lip color is about as far I as go, but I do make sure it's done before leaving the house. But to rake that brush over my eye on occasion makes me wish I didn't even to that. Not only is it painful, more than likely my lashes aren't dry from the moments earlier and after slamming my eyes shut, compounded by the profuse watering, I look like I should be quarter backing in the NFL.

Now, I have to start over which thrills me completely, my coffee is cold and the kids are still looking for the library books. (Can you guess this happened to me just this morning?)

On a happier note, I can't say as I've ever left the house with my lip color on my teeth! :)

How you know it's love

2007-01-15T07:11:00.000-08:00

I've heard it said, "I just love what I do!" Hm, I sometimes wonder if it's true love for what they are doing or are there other factors that bleed into the reason for their love. Such as, great pay, a kicking retirement plan, time shares, a cute boss, lots of vacation time, 7 minutes from home. All these, granted are positive reasons for finding what you do acceptable or even enjoyable, but are they reason enough to use that four letter word? If all those things were taken away, how would you feel about what you are doing?

This week I discovered true love. Outside of course being a wife and mother, which is my first love, I found where I truly belong.......in a classroom. A classroom full of first graders with raised hands, second graders with their show and tell items, and Kindergarteners that all need help with backward "b's" and their shoelaces. For me, it's an incredible place to be. I had the privilege of working in two other buildings besides mine this week as a substitute. Now we all know this occupation comes with none of the above mentioned perks. On top of that, it makes for a bit of a hectic morning at times and I do it for next to nothing.

But you want to know a secret? I would do it for nothing, and that is how I know it's love!

The next time...

2007-01-09T18:30:00.000-08:00

....You feel your own children are out of control or you just can't handle another moment with them, I recommend you sit in a classroom with a half dozen students all of which have various disabilities. That is where I was today. More than two were mildly autistic, one was in a wheel chair and completely dependent on his care giver......Today that was me. I fed him, changed him, played on the floor with him and sat next to him while he napped. Along with managing the rest of the students in a classroom setting and in the hallways. A challenging task but well worth my time.

So the next time you feel at your wits end, stop, look at your children, thank God for their good health and tell them just how proud you are of them.

It scares me to think these little ones in the long run may one day be lost!

Thank GOD for selfsufficient children!

2007-01-04T11:10:00.000-08:00

Since the day after Christmas, my kids have sustained life all by themselves. Well, during the day anyway. I don't know what happened. I went to bed not feeling great and woke the next morning, barely in the land of the living.

It was 8 days of 103 plus temp., chilling sweats, ears that make me feel like I'm in the abyss and a sinus infection that produced I don't even now what but there was blood involved. But alas, today I think I feel better. Not by any means good but better. Meaning, I'm in an upright position and dressed in a way that would allow me to actually leave the house.

During this entire ordeal, my children dressed and took care of their hygiene alone, fed themselves every meal (I have no idea what it was, but they are still alive), entertained and took care of each other and me. Then Honey comes home, cooks dinners, does dishes, folds and puts away laundry he washed the night before, scrubbed bathrooms and kids, stripped beds and ours several times, entertained the kids and did tuck-ins.

Today I actually made it into other rooms of the house and things are still in one piece. I even got to the kitchen, my room. I opened the dishwasher and laughed hysterically. I think Honey stood in the front lawn and threw the dishes in from an open window. It made me afraid to open the cabinets and lets just say it will be some time before I find everything again. However, I could care less, he did good. I shutter to think what it could have been like for the past 8 days.

I did, in one of my very few semi-coherent states hear Honey tell Michael....."Man Buddy, Mommy does a lot!" Let me tell you, although it was nice to hear.....It was SO not worth being so sick for that long. :(

Because I've spent so much time in a horizontal position, tonight I think I'll be sleeping standing up.

What's in your future?

2006-12-19T18:20:00.000-08:00

The stare. This evening I got the stare from Mina. While in the kitchen this little serious faced six year old looks and me and says.......

Mina: "Mommy, you know I can tell what your going to be when you grow up, just by looking at you."

Me: "Is that right?"

Mina: "I can see you are going to be a doctor or a teacher."

Me: (smiling at her great confidence in me) "Honey, I'm already grown up and am what I'm going to be. Your and Michaels Mommy."

Mina: "Hm, let me look again."

Me: "OK, look closely."

Mina: "Oh, I see that you are going to be a Granny or an old woman, then you will die."

Me: (Laughing hysterically!) "My goodness, REALLY?"

Mina: "Yup!!"

Maybe I shouldn't have asked her to look so close. I think I'd have rather been left at a teacher.

Finally....

2006-12-18T05:12:00.000-08:00

.....A little Christmas around the house!

My favorite elephant draped in lights.

Mina's gingerbraed creation proudly on display in our sitting room

A frozen fella who has found a home in our Christmas tree until the first of the year.

I honestly love all this for the sake of kids everywhere.....But between you and me, I can't wait until it over!!

At last, the TRUTH!!

2006-12-11T12:47:00.000-08:00

I'm very confident in my ability of knowing my way around the rooms of my house, that includes the kitchen. I love to cook and I myself, like to think I'm not to bad......I'd be willing to cook for anyone!

Gravy. No, not the brown stuff you find on mashed potatoes, the red stuff you fine on macaroni. That is how we refer to spaghetti sauce being from the North. So today being Sunday I made a pot of gravy. Quite naturally, Honey is in and out all day swiping bread for dipping and leaving with moans of approval and.........

Honey: "Baby, that is good!"

Me: "I'm glad!" (smile and a wink)

Honey: Man, I'm tellin' ya....you make some good gravy."

Me: "Yeah, I think it's pretty good."

Honey: "You know, when Mom was here for Thanksgiving.....I told her you made great gravy."

Me: "And?!" (laughing)

Honey: "She started in with a bunch of sh!t!"

Me: "Did we expect anything else?"

Honey: "No! But I told her...."Believe what you have to but her gravy rocks!!""

Me: "Did you really? That is too funny."

Honey: "Yeah!! I'm tellin' ya Babe, your gravy is the best!!"

Me: "Well thank you Honey, I love that you love it!"

Not that I'm at all too concerned with what she thinks about my cooking, or anything else for that matter. I have taken exceptional care of her son in every room of our house for the last sixteen years. But, it is nice to know she got an ear full about how great I am in the kitchen, especially when it comes to gravy. ;)

Gosh, what color would I be?!

2006-12-06T14:26:00.000-08:00

Color coded behavior. That's how the teachers let parents know what kind of day was had. Blue=best, Green=fair, Yellow=poor and Red=a call home. Today, both Michael and Mina came home with a green, for the very same reason, talking! I smile to myself, and ask in a tone that was serious but certainly not mad, "What do we have to do better about?" Their response in unison, "Not talking when we should be listening." I kissed them both and agreed!

Me! How could I possibly be upset? They are my kids! Me, the one that has been accused of being able to talk to a wooden man by my husband. The one that knows nearly every single employee, in every department at the supermaket. Or, goes in to pickup Chinese takeout that isn't quiet ready and comes out with a mans life story. Really! I came out and handed Honey a business card. He looks at it puzzled and asked me what it was for. I said it was from a guy inside....He has a painting company. He's originally from Michigan but now lives here in town with his parents. He and his wife are divorced but gets his kids on the weekends, that's why he's living with his parents. He's been here for a couple years and is in the process of buying another house, he should be closing in a few weeks.

Honey is staring at me without blinking and mouth open has I rattle off this information. When I finally finish he says, "MAN!! You were in there for seven and a half minutes and you came out with all that and a card?" I started laughing and said "Sure! Why not, it's better than just standing there!" Honey shakes his head and rolls is eyes but has to laugh and says, "Babe, you are unbelievable!!"

So see? How could I be upset with the two nuts that clearly have not rolled far from the bush?

Another year gone

2006-12-04T19:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Mina!

(6)

Mina

(1)

My, time sure does fly!

Sunday Funnies

2006-12-03T20:28:00.000-08:00

"Nutritious Eating"

According to a recent article I just read on nutrition, they said eating right doesn't have to be complicated.

Nutritionists say there is a simple way to tell if you're eating right. Colors. Fill your plates with bright colors. Greens, reds, yellows.

In fact, I did that this morning. I had an entire bowl of M&M's. It was delicious! I never knew eating right could be so easy.

I now have a whole new outlook on life. :):)

I don't think I know you well enough

2006-11-29T18:35:00.000-08:00

While working on a project at school today, I was assisted by another volunteer mom. I've seen this woman around the school on occasion and have been in her company one other time, briefly. She is really quite nice and I had no problem at all working with her. We made small talk and had easy casual conversation about our kids, the holiday, school, etc. until.....

I made the horrible mistake of asking what her husband did. She tells me but doesn't stop there. She goes on to add...

Her: "Ya know, he drinks too much and really has a smart mouth!"

Me: "Oh."

Her: "Yeah, I even had him arrested but they let him go and he walked home."

Me: "Hmm!"

Her: "He's on the computer forever......And, I've found a ton of porn sites that he's visited. I've even left him once,"

Me: "Wow! Huh?"

Her: "Yeah, and we haven't had sex in thirteen and a half months!"

Me: "What?! Now that's not good!"

Ok, first if you know me at all, I'm never at a loss for words. Actually, I was thinking...."Look lady, you're married to a freak, who has some serious issues. And, it may be very true that you haven't had sex for thirteen and a half months, but you better believe your husband hasn't gone that long. That boy has been steppin' out!!" (I wouldn't go thirteen and a half days......MONTHS would be grounds for divorce!)

But, because I've known this woman for all of 90 minutes, I kept my end of the conversation at a level of a Non-English speaking person.

Now, I'm all in favor of sharing. I myself have a couple of girlfriends that I share extremely personally information with. But, I have a relationship with these women, a level of trust and we share a mutual respect. Perhaps if this over sharing stranger was actually reaching out and needed someone to vent to it would have been different. As it was, it was like she was telling my about a great pair of jeans she just bought on sale at Banana Republic, along with a cute little top. That, I would have much rather heard.

How do I spell relief?!

2006-11-27T18:08:00.000-08:00

G.O.O.D.B.Y.E......To my mother-in-law, and H.E.L.L.O........To Honey, with candles and a couple uninterrupted hours in front of the fireplace. *sigh*

Her visits are always very traumatic, but after last night, it's as though she were never here. It must have been those candles. ;)

Sunday Funnies

2006-11-26T17:02:00.000-08:00

How to Stay Married

A man and a woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents.

"When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

"Honey," he said "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?""Oh, that?" she said. "That's the money I made from selling the dolls."

You say potato, I say pototo...

2006-11-20T17:08:00.000-08:00

I'm at the kitchen table folding clothes, while Michael sits across from me building who knows what with Leg-o's! It was some sort of flying machine, with guns, missiles and anything else that could possibly cause destruction. Apparently, all his creating sapped him of nourishment...

Michael: "Mom, I feel like a like snack."

Me: "You do? What do you feel like Buddy?"

Michael: "I don't know, do we have any of those puddings?"

Me: "Sure!"

And, because they were in a place he was unable to reach, I went and got one. I come back with chocolate......

Michael: "Mom, I'd rather have a vanilla one."

Me: "Oh, Baby I don't have anymore vanilla, but chocolate's not so bad."

He takes it without saying a word. Well, without any words I could understand. I go back to folding my clothes and I hear....

Michael: "Ch, ch-awww-c." (and repeat)

Me: "Michael, what are you saying?"

Michael: "Nothing!" (giggling)

Me: "Don't give me that. What were you just saying?" (laughing)

Michael: "Ch-awwww-colate! That's what I was saying."

At first, it didn't occur to me what he said. Then it hit me!!

Me: "OMGosh, were you making fun of how I say chocolate? Oh man, you were totally making fun of me!!" (laughing hysterically)

Michael: (beside himself, with head on the table, unable to speak laughter) "Oh Mooommyyyy! That is so funny, ch-awwwwww-colate."

Ok, being from NY it's true, that is exactly the way I say chocolate. And yes, I suppose it sounds funny to a little boy who says it like someone who was born and being raise in the South.

Today my son realize that he and his sister sound different than his father and me. What I love about it is, he was actually quick enough to make fun of me over it. That's my boy!!

Sunday Funnies

2006-11-19T17:58:00.000-08:00

My Mother - In - LAW is coming for the holiday......ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, with enormous sobs of pain and suffering to follow!! This is going to be the longest week of my life, my God help me. Why is it the long weeks are NEVER the fun ones? CRAP!!!

And YES, it's that bad!! She completely devastates my family. *sigh*

What better reason to be loved!

2006-11-17T05:27:00.000-08:00

Standing in the hall among a sea of kids, I'm directing traffic when I see a little third grade girl running towards me. She crashes into me without ever slowing down, throws her arms around my waist, burying her face in my stomach then says..."I love you, I love you, I love!" I give her a big squeeze and told her that I loved her too. Then, she looks up at me and asks, "You know why I love you so much?" A little baffled, I said, "No, why?" After sticking her nose to my shirt and taking a huge whiff she says "Oh, because you always smell SOOO good!!" Of course I laugh, then give her a kiss on the top of her head and send her on to class. A great way to start any day.

Really, is there any better reason to be loved? :):)

Out, out, OUT!!

2006-11-14T15:00:00.000-08:00

It doesn't happen often. I mean, it really happens almost never. But, this Saturday morning it did, and it was oh so welcomed! Honey was actually out of the sack before me, on a weekend!! I mean up, dressed, wrangled the kids into the kitchen, fed them, had them get dressed, brush their teeth, everything. Keeping in mind, this was going on at 7:00 "A" "M" I was ridiculously relieved it was him and not me. However....

7:15a - Mina: "Mommy, Dad made waffles and gave me too much. I can't eat all of it."
Me : "That's ok Baby, eat what you can and leave the rest."

7:16a - Michael: "Mommy, I'm not brushing my hair this morning, it's Saturday. I want to just wear a hat."
Me: "Fine!"

7:22a - Michael: "Hey, where is my Hershey sweat shirt?"
Me : " I don't know, did we get it home last night from Zack's?"
Michael : "Oh, no I didn't."
Me: "Well, just wear your football one."

7:30a - Mina: "Mommy, my play shoes have something inside that feels weird on my foot. Can I wear my school ones....I just can't fine anything else."
Me: "OMGOSH!! I don't care if you wear your ballet slippers, get out!"

7: 34a - Michael: "Mommy, can I have a piece of gum?"
Me: "Are you kidding me, where is your Father?"
Michael: "He's in the kitchen."
Me: "For cryin' out loud, ask Daddy would you please!"
Michael: "We never ask Daddy anything though"
Me: giggle "Well, start and stay out!!"

8:00a - Out of bed. Ahhh, a full twenty minutes of peaceful bliss. I take a long hot shower, shave.....In peace. I get my self together and then I hear it. Nothing!! They're gone, all of them, whew! I head down the hall and into the kitchen to where an obvious bomb had dropped an hour earlier.

At that point I didn't care. Daddy had them and they were out. I didn't even call to find out where they were......I was alone and didn't want the moment ruined by hearing, "We'll be there is 5 minutes!"

Sunday Funnies

2006-11-12T18:17:00.000-08:00

I think I actually posted this one other time before. Then again, maybe not. Please, who can remember. Either way, after having a great IM conversation yesterday with a blogging friend covering this topic, among many others, I just had to post it! :)

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

13. Potential Murder Suspect

And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS!!!

Oh, how I LOVE them!

2006-11-08T18:03:00.000-08:00

It's rainy and miserable, but far be it for us to stay in. So, we're off. It's banking, post office and almost against my better judgment (because I have the kids), some returns to deal with, along with using up a gift card. I mean, how bad can it be?

I'm browsing, picking up, holding out, himming and hawing, while believe it or not my two knuckle heads are doing the same thing. "Mommy, what about this?" "Hey, is this ok?" Quite the little shoppers. But poor Michael, clueless. I mean if it doesn't have wheels and a motor he has not idea, still he tried.

I gather up a few articles and head to the fitting room. Yes, we all cram into our little box. I just would never leave them where I couldn't see them. So it begins. On/off, on/off, on/off. Naturally, the kids think it's the funniest thing ever but still they are both being very helpful. Michael holding the clothes I want to try on, Mina holding the ones I want to keep and me, discarding the "Oh my GOSH nos!" As I'm standing there in my skimpwear, I see Michael shake his head. I know exactly what he's thinking and dared not venture on in a conversation. Instead, I forge ahead in my fitting. I slip on a great pair of low-rise, button fly, cargo pants that happen to be my favorite color, Army green. I get them on....Oh, they're feelin' good, I think I have a winner. I put my belt on, to make sure it will fit the loops and turn to look in the mirror. And yes, yes, the first thing I do (like every other woman) is turn and check out the rearview. After all, that is the most important view. I'm turning back and forth and as if he read my mind, my sweet, handsome, big eyed boy says......."Oh Mommy, those pants make your coolie look great! I think you should get them!" While giggling, I put on a nice, fitted, V-neck, three quarter sleeve sweater, that I would say is in the taupe family as far a color. Mina agreed with Michael on the pants and said "Mommy, I don't like the color of that sweater, but I love the way it looks. It makes your stomach look SO flat!!"

So, you see why I just LOVE them. I swear, if I ever need a little pick me up, I'll just bring my kids along while trying on clothes.

Ah Michael, to have learned so young. When he's older and his girlfriend asks "Honey, do these jeans make my butt look fat?" Without hesitation he'll say "No way Baby, your coolie looks great!" He has no idea the lesson he's learned.

Side note: Naturally, Mina didn't like the color of the sweater. That's because it wasn't pink, studded with rhinestones and ladened in sequins.

Jiffy, without the LUBE!

2006-11-06T14:02:00.000-08:00

It was time. Three thousand miles, time to have my stick pulled, oil changed and joints greased. Boy, that almost sounds like it could have been fun. Instead, it was a nightmare.

Like the rest of the world (that I know anyway) I whip into Jiffy Lube and ask for the basis change. Not needing anything to fancy and certainly don't want my oil coated little friends, climbing all over the inside of my car to vacuum it. So, it's just a quick change for me. Or so I thought. I hand an oil additive to the service tech and asked him to please put it in along with the oil. I have the kids with me, we're talking and laughing, so I'm not paying all that much attention. It's the normal, "turn you engine on. OK, now turn it off." They do their yelling of "Check, check, check....Blah, blah, blah." I never understand what they are saying and after today I'm convinced they don't either.

I pay. I'm off. The kids requested McDonald's for lunch, so we head in for a couple Happy Meals. Lunch is over, we are now on the way home. Well, by the time we arrive home, my truck sounds like there are loose rocks rattling around in the engine. I get out, pull my dip stick.........It's DRY!! Bone, desert DRY!!! OMGosh! I saw him pour in the additive, but where was the oil? I did say, put this in ALONG WITH the oil, NOT instead of. I calmly call the store, "Hi, I was just there for an oil change, remember, the burgundy suburban......Well, I'm calling because I'd love to know, WHERE IS MY OIL?!" The service tech on the other end, stuttered a bit, then asked me to hold on. When he finally returned to the phone, he went on the explain that he thought there was some sort of miscommunication. I said, " Oh REALLY?!" "You don' t SAY!"

My young Jiffy friend assured me he would have someone right out to deliver oil to me. Well, they finally arrive with what I needed, poured it in and while holding my breath started the engine. It sounded fine. No more rocks, whew.

I thank him, while he continued to apologize.

It was a very frustrating and anxiety filled afternoon. I asked him to please double check next time before he screams "Check!"

Sunday Funnies

2006-11-05T18:11:00.000-08:00

Subject: A life lesson

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been>together>for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one thing bothering me...it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight>mini>skirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view.

One day "little sister" called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up." I was stunned and frozen in shock, as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door, I opened the door, and headed straight toward my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.... we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is . . .

Always keep your condoms in your car!!

He may just leave me

2006-11-01T17:49:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in the living room of a very good friend, with Honey and the kids, eating pizza and sifting through the loot we bagged that evening. I'm mean after all it was our last stop on our trick or treat tour, what better way to end it.

Our hostess had company when we arrived, her name, Christy. I've been in her company before and have spent time chatting, drinking wine and just enjoying myself. Well, the same was true this time. Christy happens to live a not quite so traditional lifestyle and while there her other half Marie calls. Honey, over hears the conversation and believe it or not, it was about hunting and how she just had a 10 point taxidermied. Honey was all ears and actually started a three way conversation....Him in the background talking a blue streak and Christy repeating Maries end of the conversation. It was ugly!

Before long, HE was on the phone with Marie sharing war stories of being in the woods. Honey from the Bronx and Marie from Queens, both avid hunters and I'm sure tall tale tellers.......My goodness, a match made in heaven.

I'm thinkin' I may have a little competition......

Nah, then again maybe not. After all getting tail is a whole lot better than hearing one! :):)

It's all in the sound

2006-10-25T17:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm giving my services freely again this year at school. Still in the library, computer lab, heading up the yearbook and for any teacher or team in need. Only this year, I've started a little reading program for my Resource friends. These students are ones that have a slight learning disability and all of them are well below their grade level in reading. Soooo, I decided, with the approval of our Media Specialist and the Resource teacher I would start my own little reading lab for these students. On three days a week, two hours each day, I get the pleasure of being in their company. We read together, they read to me and they test on what they've read. I just love these kids. They are all so eager to please, willing to learn, and appreciative. it makes me wonder if it isn't the rest of the student body that has a probelm.

Today my fourth grade buddy Walter was with me. He was reading a book to me and quite naturally needed help with some of the words. I rarely just give any of them the word, I make them work for it. I ask them to sound it out the best they can before I chime in.

Snow fort, that's what Walter was trying to get out. Well, snow made it out perfectly, it was the fort that was giving him problems. I tell him, "Come on baby you can do it, sound it out." He does..."f-f-f-a-ar-t, FART!" He looks at me with huge eyes, like he can't believe that word is in the book, I'm looking at him and we both laugh hysterically. I say, "No Honey, what sound does "o r" make together?" He gives me the correct sound of "or" and suddenly realizes the word is fort not fart. He laughed again at his mistake and continued on to finish the book.

I must say, the situation some of the kids are in is extremely sad and I would change it for everyone of them if I could. But just having the opportunity to be a small part of their lives for me is a true blessing.

Walter aced his test!

Sunday Funnies

2006-10-22T07:29:00.000-07:00

Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence.

The Priest said, "Sister, this is a silent Monastery. You are welcome hereas long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so."

Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priestsaid to her, "Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You mayspeak two words."

Sister Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed.""I'm sorry to hear that," the Priest said, "we will get you a better bed."

After another 5 years, the Priest called Sister Mary Katherine. "You may sayanother two words, Sister Mary Katherine."

"Cold food," said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that thefood would be better in the future.

On her fifteenth anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again calledSister Mary Katherine into his office. "You may say two words today."

"I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine.

"It's probably best," said the Priest. "You've done nothing but bitch sinceyou got here."

The weight of money

2006-10-04T17:57:00.000-07:00

Why? Why is what we do measured by money for it's worth? Why in ordered for what we do to be considered important, we must be paid handsomely for it? Certainly, it 's nice to be compensated for our efforts in the form of money, I'm just not sure why it has to be the primary driving force behind what we do. What happen to passion, compassion, love of what we do and truly understanding why we do it?

Inquiring minds want to know, what is wrong with these people that are in professions and positions to make ridiculous sums of money, such as doctors, lawyers athlete's etc and don't. Why does the doctor open a free clinic for women's health care or does the lawyer pass up a pestigious well paying position to work on behalf of children or why would a pro ball player give up his career to coach peewee football for inner city kids.

The answer to my first question is, absolutely nothing and the second, is because there is true passion for what they are doing. They see right past the money, to the need......Wow, how refreshing. The saddest thing is that most of society actually frowns on this type of behavior, like, "How could you? You have the ability to make big money, yet you choose not to! MY GOSH!!"

Personally, I believe there is so much more to life than seeing just how much money one can put in the bank. I also believe that money is not at all our greatest reward. A very smart and insightful person told me not to long ago....."I think in some ways it takes a stronger person to fight the pressure and stay true to yourself." And there, I believe is where we will find our richest reward.

Sunday Funnies

2006-09-24T08:53:00.000-07:00

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment, and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care (weekend, evening, on a holiday or right when they're about to leave for vacation). He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

There is only one TV between them and a remote with dead batteries.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every character on cartoons.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they will apply to themselves either while driving or making three lunches.

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

Each man must adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed. The men must try to get through each day without snot, spit-up or barf on their clothing.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must try to explain what a tampon is for when the 6-year old boy finds it in the purse.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

He will need to read a book and then pray with the children each night without falling asleep, and then feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00. They must leave the home with no food on their face or clothes.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 2:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.

They must have a loving, age appropriate reply to, "You're not the boss of me".

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years...eventually earning the right to be called Mommy!

Good luck men!!

Ever wonder....

2006-09-19T17:58:00.000-07:00

....what may be waiting on the other side?

Sunday Funnies

2006-09-17T14:45:00.000-07:00

THE LONELY BRAIN CELL

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously because it was all empty and quiet.

"Hello?" she cried, but no answer.

"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice, "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"

Then she heard a faint voice from far, far away..............

-
-
-
-
-

"We're down here ..."

A Photo For Friday

2006-09-15T04:23:00.000-07:00

"I believe the children are our future......."

MIIIIIINA!!!

2006-09-13T15:41:00.000-07:00

Last week Michael made it very clear he has an enormous crush on Ms. Herron, a third grade teacher. He sat one afternoon describing her to me and explaining just how nice looking he thought she was. I told him I thought he had a bit of a crush on Ms. Herron. His response was, "yeah, I think so Mommy." All of this is seemingly innocent, except for the fact his sister heard the whole conversation.

Yesterday afternoon in the library while wrapping up a couple of things, I had the kids come in and wait for me. While there, who walks in but Ms. Herron. Michaels eyes were saucers and just glued to her. Mina was totally checking out her outfit. I look at Michael, catch his eye and point in Ms. Herrons direction. He looks at me with a pink little face and mouths...."Mommy, I know!"

The moment was just about over and she was nearly out of the room when Mina pipes up, "Ms. Herron?" She turns and says, "Yes sweetie?" Mina opens her mouth and comes out with, "You know my brother has a big crush one you!" Naturally, she giggled and thought it was very sweet, while Michael was a deeper shade of pink...ok, well red and chanting his sisters name through his teeth. "Mina, Miiiiina, MINA!!!"

So my dear son has experienced his very first, of I'm sure many truly embarrassing moments.

From A Friend

2006-09-11T05:19:00.000-07:00

My oldest and dearest friend sent this little post card to me, along with a small gift. Now, although I love the gift, if she had only sent this bit of paper, it would have been enough. I believe what it says to be very true and I hope you will be as fortunate as I have been in being singled out.

Sunday Funnies on Wednesday

2006-09-06T17:09:00.000-07:00

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband,"It is three o'clock in the morning." He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife."

Just some drunken guy asking for a push" he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asked.

"No. I did not. It is three o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!"

His wife said, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told (of course), gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello? Are you still there?" "Yes" comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes Please!" comes the reply from the darkness.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing!!" replies the drunk.

Who?!

2006-09-01T04:13:00.000-07:00

Ok, can somebody please tell me who we are talking about? If you were standing in my kitchen yesterday afternoon, this is what you would have heard...

Mina: "Mommy, who was that girl?"

Me: "What girl Honey?"

Mina: "You know, the girl with the brother."

Michael: "There are lots of those kinds of girls at school."

Mina: "No, not at school."

Michael: "Who are you talking about? My friend Jack has a sister."

Me: "Yeah Mina, who are you talking about?"

Mina: "Man, the girl with the light brown skin, remember?"

Me: "Ok! No , I don't remember."

Mina: "Mommy, come ON! You know, the girl with the couch hair!"

Me & Michael: "COUCH hair?!"

Michael: "OH! You mean LJ's little sister. My friend from basketball."

Mina: "YEAH, that's her.....Maleeya!"

Me: "Yes, that was her name. What about her?"

Mina: "Oh nothing, just askin'."

Michael: "OMGosh Mina, what was that?!"

I'm sort of with Michael on this one. All that, and for no particular reason. I did have to inquire about the couch hair though, and her explanation was, "It's just so big and all over the place." Now granted, that is true. But I don't ever recall seeing a couch that looked the same, and if I had, I'm certain I wouldn't be sitting on it!

*I must say, I was very impressed that Michael knew just who Mina was talking about with only her two word description, "couch hair!"

A Dam Day

2006-08-29T05:16:00.000-07:00

That is just what it was. A beautiful day spent at the dam with the kids, the cooler, my camera and of course Honey!

Sunday Funnies

2006-08-27T17:51:00.000-07:00

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and
the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table.

The wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-girlfriend. I understand she
took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"

I don't mind being second, it's dead that bothers me!

2006-08-23T13:47:00.000-07:00

Well, school is well underway, and as I expected there are lots of things to talk about. Everyday there is a something exciting that took place or trouble that is reported. Today, Mina came home with this....

Mina: "Mommy, you remember my new friend Hunter I told you about?"

Me: "Yeah, I saw him today....He's cute!"

Mina: "I know and he follows me everywhere and always wants to play with me."

Me: "Well, is that ok with you......Do you mind him wanting to be with you."

Mina: "Oh no Mommy, I like him and you know what he said to me on the playground today?"

Me: "What's that?"

Mina: "He said he was going to marry me."

Me: Giggling I say, "My goodness, what did you tell him?"

Mina: "I said, ok!"

Me: "Really?!"

Mina: Yeah, but he said if I didn't want to, he would just marry YOU, Mommy!"

Me: "Wow, that is sweet but what do you think Daddy would say about that?"

Mina: "I don't know but I told Hunter, that by the time he was grown up to get married you would be dead!"

Mina, the playground bride.

There you have it. To a kindergartener, anyone the age of 40 or above has one foot on a banana peel. :)

Lets Party!

2006-08-21T15:32:00.000-07:00

Piece Of Cake

*My girlfriends daughter, Lexi taken at her brothers birthday party.

What was I doing again?

2006-08-15T18:17:00.000-07:00

So it starts. Another school year is under way as of this morning. Only this year it's a little bit different. Mina started Kindergarten and Michael being a big second grader decides he's going to have an alarm clock and get up on his own. I'm thinking, "this I've got to see!"

So, an alarm clock was placed on his toy stacks just across from him bed. We make sure to set it for 6:20a, then he's off to sleep. Well, this morning I'm up a 5:15a. I shower, dress, get coffee on, spend a few minutes in devotions and finish up some last minute paperwork for the kids first day when I heard it. The shrilling beep, screaming from Michaels room. I peek in, there isn't the slightest stir and I think, "my gosh, he's like his father, he needs a rocket launched under his bed to wake up." I leave it screaming, walk to the end of the hall and wait.

I hear commotion coming from his room several minutes later, then a figure emerges and appears in the hall. Looking one direction, than the other before he spots me. He squints and says, "what was I doing again? It's dark out, why am I up?" Ok, now I'm cracking up and approaching my lost and completely confused boy. He's still unsure what to do and I decide the kid is sleeping on his feet. Finally, he looks at me with some recognition and says, "man Mommy, the clock is so loud, I didn't know what it was....Then I looked outside, it was dark, I didn't hear anyone up and didn't know why I was up."

The poor kid had a days work before he even realized he was awake!

Sunday Funnies

2006-08-13T10:12:00.000-07:00

Loving Husband

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE.

"The next morning Bob got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, he looked out the window and sure enough there was a small box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral services for Bob have been scheduled for Friday.

Black or Blue

2006-08-10T07:31:00.000-07:00

Natures Spotlight

Out of the Blue

*Taken from my front porch

I did NOT just hear, Mommy...

2006-08-08T08:26:00.000-07:00

....It's 11:30p, I just checked the kids. Mina? Dead to the world. Michael? Out. Honey and I just finished a movie and are ready for the best part of our day. Hitting the sack. Ah, what a great time to enjoy the peace and quiet of the house, cuddled next to Honey talking and laughing. Well maybe there was a tad more than talking going on.

Totally lost in the moment, I missed them, and I never miss them. Footsteps. Not until I heard, "Mommy" standing just inside our room was I aware we were not alone. (I swear, I felt like I was in a movie) I grab the covers, sat straight up, and tried to get my thoughts together. By this time, Michael is sitting on my side of the bed, "Mommy, I can't sleep!" I'm thinking, "you were just sleeping!" Honey, never moves but says "Come on Buddy, just go back to bed and close your eyes, you'll sleep, I promise." Well, my baby leaves the room crying and heads back to bed. I just can't let that happen. I throw something on, tell Honey to stay right there, do not move, I'll be right back and fly down the hall.

Now, I have one guy that can't sleep and should be and one that probably will be and I don't want to be. Ugh! I tuck Michael back in, snuggled with him a bit, and tried to will him to sleep. He was so tired thank goodness it only took a few minutes but for those few minutes, I could have sworn time stood still.

I sneak out of his room, fly back down the hall and to my dismay all is still. I get back into bed feeling a bit defeated but completely understood. I leaned over, whispered goodnight, kissed him on the cheek and his eyes flew open. I smacked him, called him a punk but boy was I happy. I'm not so convinced that women are the ones that fake it. ;)

AND, I think starting tonight, I'm putting cow bells on the the kids. I just can't take it!!

Sunday Funnies

2006-08-06T01:49:00.000-07:00

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" Eight," the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?" The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would able to swim and ride a bike. He can't do either one."

10 thing my house is NEVER without!

2006-08-03T18:32:00.000-07:00

These are my staples. I absolutely, have to have these items in the house. When I begin running low, I getting nervous and my palms start sweating. If in the event I ever do run out of any of the above mentioned items.....that, becoming my quest for the following day, obtaining my missing staple.

These are listed in the order of importance....

1. Birth Control (my word, the repercussion could be devastating)

2. Coffee (my morning nectar)

3. Novel (I without fail, have to have a book in progress, have to!)

4. Batteries (of every size and shape....no comment, Salena!)

5. Wine (the romance continues with Mr. Rossi)

6. Bottled Water (still weaning from Diet Coke, ugh!)

7. Bleach (the smell of clean, a must)

8. Pasta (from the North...it's just what we eat)

9. Body Lotion (gotta have smooth skin)

10. Banana's (one of my daily snacks)

Ok, so these are the things that help me survive it all! :)

Could THIS be why?

2006-08-01T17:46:00.000-07:00

I suppose this could very well be the reason, when leaving the house solo, without the kids or Honey, he asks, "How late are you gonna be?' and "be careful!"

I was having a ridiculous love affair with some fresh strawberries and a chocolate fountain....

And, I always end up doing some wine wrestling.....

A night out with a girlfriend, at a mutual friends surprise 40th birthday party! Lots of fun and loads of laughs, with just a bit of wine. I'm not one to really ever over indulge.....However, Honey was happy! ;)

The Kiss

2006-07-28T08:45:00.000-07:00

While sitting outside reading a book, as the kids played and rode their bikes, I wasn't at all prepared nor was surprised with what was going to happen next. Michael coming flying to where I'm sitting, skids to a stop and out of nowhere asks this:

Michael: "Mommy, you know how people kiss tongue to tongue? What country is that from, China?"

Me: (with a huge grin and a giggle) "No, Honey that sort of a kiss is called a French kiss."

Me: "Why?"

Michael: "I don't know, just asking."

Now he's standing there with his tongue stretched out as far as it can go, trying to look at it.

Michael: "Mommy, do kids kiss like that?"

Me: "No Baby, only adults do.....grown ups that are in a relationship, like husbands and wives and mommies and daddies."

Michael: (with wide eyes and a gaping mouth) "Oh man, you kiss Daddy like that?"

Me: (thinking, oh boy) "Um, yes, yes I do."

Michael: "Isn't it weird and feel funny/"

Me: "No, it's really very nice, I love kissing Daddy."

Michael: "Well, does Daddy like it too?"

Me: "Yes he does."

Michael: "But Mommy, we're Italian not French."

Me: (laughing out loud) "Yes, I know but the French people don't mind sharing."

Michael: "Well, how do the French kids kiss?"

Me: (think, think, think!!)

I grab Michael by the face and give him a huge kiss on each cheek and told him that is how the kids are kissed.

Michael: "Ok Mommy, that is how I want you to kiss me from now on."

Me: "Sure Baby, I'll kiss you anyway you'd like because I love kissing you too!"

Whew, I made it through another round of Sex Ed.

It's been a while....Sunny Funnies

2006-07-23T20:15:00.000-07:00

Apples and Wine:

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are Afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but are easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in Reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the Tree.

Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the sh!t out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

A bad, BAD sign...

2006-07-19T11:13:00.000-07:00

Restaurants, furniture stores, Billy Bob's Fireworks.....those are the things that graced the roadside billboards, and yes, for the most part still do. But while traveling a secondary road (not even the interstate) with a friend we passed this sign. I made her turn around to get this picture, I mean whaaaaaaat! Really, how bad has it gotten that this sort of thing has to be advertised on a billboard?

This is very unnerving. For those of us who are married, a service of this nature is very unlikely. However it's not even a marriage issue, it's a responsibility issue. Has it become so meaningless that it's not even worth keeping up with? Have the partners become so many that there is no keeping track? C'mon ladies, certainly we can do better for ourselves than that. And guys, if you're man enough to drive, you better be ready to pay for parking. Why does it have to get to this.......

Sidenote: Please don't take this as a "holier-than-thou" attitude, it is by no means meant that way. True, I am married and a mother of two now. Keep in mind, I wasn't always married, but I was always responsible.

Just a day at the park.....

2006-07-14T08:02:00.000-07:00

....in black and white

Just a LITTLE gross

2006-07-10T18:02:00.000-07:00

OK. I'm not one that's easily skeeved. Growing up, I was into everything that was not girly. Fishing, motorcycle racing, worms, snakes, turtles, skateboarding, snowmobiling, ice hockey, climbing trees, shooting at everything with a BB gun (even my brother) and every farm animal that ever lived. I was around hunting and all that went with it, even spend countless hours on a boat in the middle of the ocean, deep sea fishing. My gosh, I was the biggest tomboy that ever lived.

Now just a wee bit older, I'm afraid I'm still very much the same way. I don't get to do as much but have a love for all the above mention, and still, not easily skeeved. I even coached a girlfriend in childbirth, before I had kids and still I had two. I mean really, having kids you just can't be squeamish. If there is a hole, you can bet at some point there will be something leaking, spewing or running out it. Guaranteed!

BUT, over the weekend the weather was beautiful and even cool at night. We have a huge burn pit out back and Honey decided to build a fire for us to just sit around and roast marshmallows. Fun. I have a terrible habit of running around barefooted and Saturday night was no different. I ripped all the way across the field to retrieve some 'mallows and almost made it, when it happened. On one of my last steps on a rock just before the back door I stepped on what had to be the biggest slug ever. It was smashed on the ball of my foot and came squishing through my toes. Blech! They are the nastiest things. Slimy. Sticky. Gooky.

What's worse, is that I had two little ones waiting with empty sticks. So, I left it there until the end of the evening, at which time I almost needed sandpaper in the shower to get it off. Not any help at all was Honey standing behind me screaming "I have shampoo in my eyes!" Ok, do you get that "I don't care, I have slug on the bottom of my foot!" :)

Yes, even for me....that was a little gross!

Day Camp!

2006-06-30T19:41:00.000-07:00

My kids are off to day camp. Oh! Wait. They LIVE at day camp. Yes, that's right, live. Day camp is our HOUSE! I was so excited and looked so forward to school letting out, so we would have time to just hang out and do nothing. PLEASE! I've decided there is no such thing as nothing.

Granted, we don't have a regularly scheduled program. This camp, is totally fly by the seat of your pants, up for anything. Phone rings, we're gone. We place a call and the exodus is just has fast. For the past two weeks, part of our schedule has been me teaching and the kids attending VBS. Outside of that, it could be anything. We spend LOTS of time at the pool, usually with friends. I mean, so much so that the kids and myself are so dark, people ask where we've been on vacation. We have been on miles of bike rides, spend time at the library at least once a week, fish at the lake, hike through the woods, ride four wheelers, and have as many as three additional kids here at any given time. It's heaven!

My free time seems almost non-existent now but I'm not complaining. I love to see my kids or ANY kid, being just that, a kid. They're hot, sweaty, tanned and tired. Just the way I like to see them all. The little bit of time I do get, (which is usually in the wee hours) I try to use wisely. I've been reading like crazy, just flying through the books. Totally keeping my local used book store in business. I've started an online Bible study that I've been thoroughly enjoying and of course I ALWAYS have time for Honey. He is my prize, my reward for running this camp. He is also the financial backer. I can't begin to say how VERY lucky I feel.

Tomorrow, we have a bike rodeo with the Boy Scouts, I'm sure it will be for miles. Honey looked at me and said, "Boy Scouts, hell....we ARE the Boy Scouts!" Maybe so, but I wouldn't have it any other way!

Canals

2006-06-23T13:58:00.000-07:00

Canal: 1 an artificial waterway for transportation or irrigation. That's what Webster's says they are. There are many of these canals all over the world. There's the Panama, Corinth, Canal de midi, Suez and Rio de la Verona to name a few. Oh, and lets not forget the ROOT canal!

That's the canal I visited the other day, and like many of you know, it's no fun. I mean it certainly wasn't has if I were drifting down a little waterway in Venice, aboard a gondola, being serenaded by a handsome native man all the while wrapped in the arms of my love, staring into a romantic sky.

NO! It was more like being layed out almost completely inverted on a pleather chair, in a room you could hang meat in, while my face was pulled in directions it isn't meant to go and staring into a blinding light. All this, along with the pleasure of gazing into the face of a man behind a clear welders mask, wearing a miners light and so close I could count his nose hairs. He was not alone. His lovely assistant, was also behind goggles and mask and both seemed to take great pleasure in jamming their hands in my mouth and while doing so asked, "could you open any wider?" "WHAT?" I swear, you could have driven a truck in there as it was. But being the cooperative patient I am, I opened wider.

To top off the entire morning, I was informed that my little trip down the canal was going to cost me more than a gondola!

And because the doctors choice for the build up color was blue over white, I will be sporting a real "blue tooth" until I get my crown.

In the beginning...

2006-06-20T11:39:00.000-07:00

Yes, that's right where it starts. As I sat bending my brain on a list of things I needed to pick up I thought, "Oh, I have got to get Mina some panties!" Every time I turn around, she is howling how she has NONE. I have no idea what it is she does with them....but I'm not overly concerned, after all she is only 5. Now, 17, I'd sure be asking.

We have everything else, so it's off the the little girls department. This is no easy task, the picking out of panties for an overly fashion conscious 5 years old. Finally, the selections are made. Very bright, full of design with some little fringey, lovely. Michael chimes in and says, "Underwear, what underwear, these look like scarves!!" I say, "WHAT?" "Yeah, Mommy, look at these colors and the edges, man!" "Ok, whatever you say."

Ahh, no wonder when I send Honey to the store with explicit directions and a detailed description of what I need, he comes home with scarves. So you see, it starts way back, in the beginning.

Drinking and Driving

2006-06-13T19:29:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining in the bluest of skies, there were just enough pillowy white clouds to be pretty and there was no humidity. I throw the kids and bikes in the truck and we're off to meet friends for a bike ride.

Our ride took us along a river where we were able to peddle with ease on it's paved banks. There was sun and shade in almost equal parts, which made for a very nice journey. Although the humidity was low, it was still on the warm side. So, I did pack a backpack with bottled water and some snacks and left a cooler in the car for us on our return. I must say, it was an amazing ride. We rode for over 7 miles and weren't really aware of it.

We're back at the truck and everyone is hungry and still thirsty. We say our goodbyes and it's off. I had given both, Michael and Mina a bottle of water and I too had one as we headed home. While discussing our adventure everyone had to talk at once, as usual. I looked in the rearview to see them both so excited to talk that I just let them go. Meanwhile, I see a red light ahead and realize I'm approaching traffic. I slow down and was at what I thought was a stop while I took a sip from my water bottle and bam. I rolled into the car in front of me.....a beautiful sports car at that. Me, I'm in a land yacht.....a Suburban. I leap out of the car as did the owner of the sports car and we meet at the bumper. He was an older gentleman, dressed very nicely and all smiles. I smiled back a bit nervously and apologizing profusely. He assured me that it was quite alright, that there was no damage and to please not give it another thought.

Now, I'm wondering....could it have had anything to do with the fact I was dressed in a pair of boy-shorty surf shorts, a cropped fitted tank, flip-flops and wearing just enough glisten everywhere from a long, heated bike ride OR was he just THAT nice?

I'm thinking it had to be, that he was just that nice.

My Never, Never Land

2006-06-08T07:04:00.000-07:00

Sitting around with friends, having easy conversation and one of the things I hear quite often from others, as well as myself is, "I've never done that!" Or, "That has never happened to me!" So it made me think. Think of the all things that I've never done....

I have never:

- Bit my nails
- Sang Karaoke
- Blacked out from a night out (however, I did lose my car once)
- Sneaked out of my parents house. (did sneak a boy in though....dangerous, very dangerous)
- Wrecked a car
- Broken a bone
- Been arrested (ONLY because I was also, NEVER caught)
- Failed a grade
- Worn 3 inch heels
- Had a same sex experience
- Worn braces
- Cheated ON someone (I plead the 5th on WITH though....)
- Colored my hair
- Used bad language in addressing my parents
- Said "I love you" and didn't mean it
- Ran a marathon
- Been to a nude beach (but would love to go, at least once)
- Lived outside of the United States
- Saw someone die
- Had long hair
- Been divorced
- Been to college
- Jumped out of an airplane (but don't mind leaping out of moving cars)
- Told anyone the thing I'm most ashamed of

I'm told, it's wise to never say never. However, I feel quite confident that most of what is listed above, will never happen!

What's in a house?

2006-06-05T14:00:00.000-07:00

Grab a duffel bag, the sleeping bags and the cooler, we're camping again. Only this time tentless. We were invited by friends to join them in their camper. It was a very relaxing, tension free weekend and very much needed. The kids rode bikes, adults took long walks, we spent time at the pool, barbequed and sat around our campfire as well as some of our neighbors. Bliss. Between the sounds of the woods and the laughter of our kids and others, it was heaven.

One neighbor was a once engineer turned singer song writer. He was great and extremely gifted. Not only was he very smart and interesting, he had fabulous humor with just enough sarcasm, that made him fun and a pleasure to talk to. But what struck me most was his passion for his music as well the wonderful relationship he has with his grown daughter, and his undying desire for simplicity. His house for the last nine years has been a thirty one year old RV that he reworked to fit his need. Although is was older and not big at all, it was beautiful.

I found myself, sitting in his camper talking about kids, interests, and life in general. While there I felt completely at home. It wasn't the beauty of the camper that gave me that feeling, it was his wonderful sense of hospitality. Even though his house is a humble RV, that small and old, it was a warm, welcoming home that made you feel comfortable and at ease.

He sings out a meager living but has a level of contentment that shames even me.

Meeting our music man friend this weekend along with reading this..."they are your home." referring to your spouse and family written by someone I've never met but think very highly of, make me certain of what I want in my house......a home!

True, we all need a structure that is known as our house. I find it unimportant, whether it's big or small, new or old, is considered by most a recreational vehicle or if it floats. What is important, it that it's made a home and not left merely a house.

Choices and Change

2006-06-02T17:13:00.000-07:00

I've heard said for the past several weeks, many very familiar phrases. "I've made my bed, now I'll lay in it," "I just don't know what the right thing is," and "Yes, I think I'm ok with my decision." None of which have been said by me but all said by three people I know very well and love very much.

What is it about making decisions that scares people to a paralyzing level? That forces them to remain where they are without change. The unknown is a very dark place I know, I've spent a lot of time there myself. But what about it, makes people behave so nonsensically? Is it our age? The fact that we don't want to make a mistake and regret the choice we've made? I mean, now that we're older and supposed to be wiser is the fear of making the wrong choice so overwhelming that we make none at all? Would we rather live in the state on limbo and uncertainty, rather then chance it?

I've heard that starting over, plays a big part in these sort of things. Is the fact that we are now considered "middle aged" weighing so heavy on our minds that we decide to hang with what we have rather than chose something different and possibly better?

I'm not at all sure our age is the bar we should be using. Certainly it's our lifes experiences we should be drawing on at these moments. The things that we've gone through should be what guides us and helps us find our way. Well, that and being honest with who we are and what we really want. Should your lifes experiences leave you short, continue to work with what you have and what you know.

So many times, people, me included, dwell on the things we don't know. What we should be, is focused on the thing we are sure of and work from there. Instead of, "I don't know this or that"....it should be, "Well, I know this, I have to have that and this is a must." Once we have a handle on what we do know, it should be easier to get started in the right direction. In the direction needed to obtain our goal.

Regardless of the situation, be it your work, relationship, family matters, geographical location, etc., if you are certain there are changes that should be made for the betterment of yourself and or family......MAKE THEM. Your age is just your age, a number that is insignificant. However, your life is yours, to live, enjoy and take full advantage of. There is no one that can do it for you. You and only you are at the wheel and able to direct the vehicle that IS your life. Sure, there are usually other people involved in your decision making that need to be considered and they should be. Still the decision needs to be made.

Break the chains of fear and step out there. Take that bit of ground you are standing on, the piece of certainty you have and in the words of Nike...."Just Do It!"

When your name is called, please raise your hand!

2006-06-01T05:28:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot going on, with plenty to say. I just can't seem to get my thoughts together enough to write them down. Forgive my absence.

Sunday Funnies

2006-05-28T19:42:00.000-07:00

The truest meaning of "Hang in there!"

Public Service Announcement

2006-05-24T13:13:00.000-07:00

It is strongly recommended, that you know exactly when your period will be coming before going commando is a pair of light blue camo gauchos.

The weather is getting warmer, clothes are getting lighter, so I thought "why not?" I was certain I had a couple of 3 days to play with, but clearly I was wrong. Standing in the library, I thought "Hm, I better just check and it's off to the bathroom I go." NOOOO! I was wrong, terribly wrong, I had no days to play with. Now, I'm undergarmentless and have only ONE tampon.

I race back to the library to ask Melanie, our librarian if she had any and of course, the answer was no. UGH! I was to watch a 4th grade class in less then a half hour and needed to do something fast. So, I fly home, whipped on a pair of panties, grabbed a hand full of feminine protection and got back to the school with minutes to spare.

Now, though it was only near disastrous, it was still close enough for me to pay closer attention. Whew!!

Ah, how I love hot weather.

Here "I" am

2006-05-22T06:55:00.000-07:00

Using the letter "I" is certainly not my favorite way to start a sentence. But, here it goes....

I SAID: If you are doing your best, that's all I ask.

I WANT: Exactly what I already have.

I WISH: People were more aware of how their actions and behaviors made others around them feel.

I HATE: Nothing.

I MISS: Not having my childhood home to return to.

I HEAR: The horrible silence of having my family out of the house.

I WONDER: Do people truly care about other people? I'm starting to think the answer is NO!

I REGRET: Any moments of disrespect I ever showed my parents and all the moments of heartache.

I AM NOT: The best I can be.

I DANCE: With my kids on my feet.

I SING: Songs I don't even like.

I CRY: When I'm happy. When I'm overwhelmingly proud of my kids. When I feel hurt.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: Able to find the line. I find myself in the midst of things I don't belong.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: Giggles when I tickle my kids.

I WRITE: Grammatically incorrect, so I'm told.

I CONFUSE: Many, I'm sure.

I NEED: Very little.

I SHOULD: Realize I can't save the world.

I START: Seeing people for who they are when I really pay attention.

I FINISH: Everyday grateful.

Sunday Funnies

2006-05-21T18:56:00.000-07:00

Hm, I've gotta find myself one of these wells!

Repeat Ready!!

2006-05-19T13:37:00.000-07:00

With the last days of school here and the end fast approaching, I am ready! Ready to spend the days outside enjoying the weather, real fun in the sun.

Anxious for those wonderful days of tanned and tired kids!

True summer time bliss!

What, I should pay?!

2006-05-17T09:29:00.000-07:00

"Come here, let me do your toes, you're gonna love this color!" That's what I heard coming from Salena who was on the front porch last Saturday. Please, who am I to argue? I sit. She files, shapes, buffs, cleans and three coats my toes, while I sit in the sun watching the kids and enjoying small talk..

The color is OPI's Pompeii Purple and I do love it! Now that my toes are all buffed and polished, Honey and I were off to take the kids putt-putt golfing. Salena on the other hand, was off to the mall with a friend for God only knows what. She did however, take her polish just in case they decided to get pedicures while they were out. Well, she did. She arrives home and that's the first thing I notice. As we're standing there, both looking down at our feet I, with a big smirk say, "I hate to tell you this, but mine look better than yours!" We start laughing and after a smack from her she tells me, "yeah, and I had to pay for THIS!"

So again, I ask......"What, I should pay?"

I thought it was beyond me...

2006-05-15T14:12:00.000-07:00

An affair. When I took my vows looking into the eyes of my not quite yet husband, I could never have imagined myself committing such an act. I was going to be faithful, "until death do us part."

Yet, I have found myself sneaking around to spend time with another man. It feels strange to say it out loud but some how very liberating. The encounters are brief but very satisfying and I'm extremely grateful for them. How could this have happened? What was I thinking?

He is with me always even when we are not together. I can think of nothing else when we are apart, waiting anxiously to return to him. Even as I lie in bed at night next to the man I married and love dearly, he is very close to me, literally in my hands. His name.....DAN BROWN! Bwhaaaaaa haaaaa!

I finished the Da Vinci Code.....a ridiculously great book and I'm half way through Angels and Demons, which is great also. My girlfriend Salena said the other day, "does Honey mind you having an affair with Danny?" Naturally, I laughed and said, "I don't think so, he hasn't said anything yet." Honey's pretty understanding that way. lol! I swear though, it almost feels like what an affair might be like. Stolen moments, sneaking around, getting up early and staying up until I can't hold my eyes open just to read. Insane.

An affair? I truly don't even see it happening. I am crazy about my guy and will be faithful to him always. There are times I would like nothing better than to be the cause of him drawing his last breath. But, he's mine and for better or worse I will love and support him,"until death do us part."

“Unless you marry intention to action, you end up with only a brief affair."

-Unknown

Sunday Funnies

2006-05-14T20:05:00.000-07:00

Menopause Jewelry

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,

bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green.

When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big friggin' red mark on his forehead.

Personal fashion consultant

2006-05-11T11:39:00.000-07:00

Sunday evening I'm rifling through my closet, "what should I wear, what should I wear?" I had the unpleasant task of having to attend a funeral viewing and wasn't sure what I wanted wear. Slacks, a skirt, dress, what? (all black of course) I slip into my slacks and decided that I really shouldn't wear them until I bring them to the tailor, so I'm out of those and into a skirt. Fine. Now, what top will I be wearing? I pull out a fitted v-neck white T and put it on. I like the way it looks but felt it was too cool out to wear. It had been rainy all day the to temperature had dropped quite a bit for May.

So, it's off with the T. I'm standing in my bra and skirt when in fly's my fashion consultant on her way to the bathroom. Mina demands to know what I'm doing, of course without stopping. I explain while I'm pulling on a light weight high neck sweater that is a very light cream color. I hear her washing her hands and out she comes, in a hurry as she doesn't want to miss whatever it is she was watching. Running passed me, drying her hands on her pants and looking over her shoulder she says, "Mommy, I like the skirt but THAT doesn't match. But if that's all you can do!" Then she's GONE.

OK. First, it matched smarty pants. Second, I didn't' like the way it looked either, LOL! So, it was back on with the white T and off I went. I really enjoyed the freakin' nip in the air.

I laughed the rest of the evening at my little Mina. How she totally sized up the situation in a lighting bolt trip to the bathroom and one eye over her shoulder.

"When his wife asked him to change clothes to meet the German Ambassador: they want to see me, here I am. If they want to see my clothes, open my closet and show them my suits."

-Albert Einstein

Reading....It's not good for everyone!

2006-05-09T12:01:00.000-07:00

OMGosh, for the past two weeks, aside from being ridiculously busy with the kids and their end of the year school activities and finding a few good books to read, I've been extremely neglectful. With everything. Laundry has gotten piled up, which is a NEVER for me, the fridge is barren, the kitchen has had a "closed" sign on it for a week or so now, and yes, my blogging.

Evening is the best time to lose myself in the pages. I was given this book by a friend but was upset that she spent $21.00 on it. But I thought, "Hm, since I have it, I'll read it carefully and have her return it." Sad, I know but I did it anyway. When she brought the book back the woman behind the counter said, "I bet I know why you are bringing this back." My girlfriend *gulped* and said, "You do?" It turns out the young author had plagiarized. The book was fine but I was all impressed that such a young girl had written it. Boy, who woulda thunk it? I guess I'm pretty easily impressed. :):)

This is what I'm reading now. I held off reading it because all the controversy but finally broke down. It is one of the best books I've read in a long time. I swear, it never leaves my hand. This is what is causing things like this to be said around my house...."Mommy, I have no sock", "I'm hungry, when are we going to eat?" and finally, "WHAT are we going to eat?" So you see, although reading is good, it's not good for everyone.

Words: Allies or Enemies?

2006-05-03T08:26:00.000-07:00

Why is it, the greatness that is seen in others, by others, is so hard for those people to see for themselves? Regardless of their confidence level, when told of a wonderful gift they may posses, a beautiful physical attribute, an ability or a certain unique quality they have, it's so hard for the holder of these things to see.

Why is it, the one or two negative things said are always the things that resound in our heads? Why do we allow these things to encourage us to form such a low opinion of ourselves, to mold us? Even if they are words that were spoken to us a children, we remember and for some ridiculous reason hold on to them. It is because they are easier to believe? It is because the people that uttered these scaring words were our parents or other elders that we were to trust and respect? I personally, have for my entire life have be encouraged by my parents. I was told, I could do anything, that I was doing great when I was and encouraged and coached to do better in the areas I may have struggled in. I was never put down, belittled or made to feel inferior regardless of was I was doing. I was ALWAYS lifted up and even today at age 40, still am.

There are so many adults, and children alike that are suffering the consequence of ill spoken words by people in very important postions...Parents, teachers, coaches etc. It saddens me to see these that were affected, struggle to find their self worth, self esteem , the wonderful qualities that are so apparent to others, all because they were never encouraged in a positive way in a positive direction.

I guess my point here is...."If you don't have anything nice to say, than say nothing at all!"

You may never know how what you say will impact someone who just might have been listening.

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being."

-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Roughing it!

2006-05-01T11:59:00.000-07:00

From Friday afternoon until Sunday morning, Michael and I once again braved the outdoors. Mina, wasn't interested in going and Honey, had some work related problems. So, he stayed behind to remedy those and Mina sat in the lap of luxury at Grandma's.

We had a great time. However, I came home to a sick kid, with a sick kid.

I better put my camping hat away a get out the nurses uniform. Man oh man! I may see if I can interest Honey in some nursing. I mean, two birds with one stone, what a great thought!!

A little extra

2006-04-27T17:19:00.000-07:00

Health and beauty aisle is the last stop on my shopping excursion with Mina. This is her favorite place to be in the supermarket. With all the lip color, nail color, hair products, even at five years old, she is in heaven. Unfortunate for her, we are not there for those items, we are there to pick up some feminine products for yours truly.

I get what I need, then toss in the last item. The little pink package that said Panty Liners, then it started.....

Mina: "Mommy, what are these....band aids?"

Me: "Um, well....yeah, I guess you could call them that."
Of course we are standing among at least three other shoppers.

Mina: "Gosh, why are they so BIG?"

Me: "Well, Mommy uses them just in case I need a little extra, ya know?"
Now, I'm convinced these other women are no longer worried about the lip color they were going to buy. They are waiting to see me sweat my way out of this.

Mina: "Extra what? You mean if you fall down and bleed a LOT?"

Me: "Ah, very long pause Um, yeah, in case I fall down and bleed a lot. I don't even have to fall down."

Mina: "REALLY?!"

Me: "Really! Hey Mina, look, they have Barbie tooth paste, cool huh?"

Mina: "Yeah, that is awesome. Mommy, can I get some?"

Me: "Oh MAN....you bet!"

Now the next thing I'm waiting for, is for her to take a spill on her bike, scrape her knee and come out of the bathroom with a panty liner taped to her boo-boo and telling me she needed a little extra.

You can't put a Band-Aid on every boo-boo you've made; some just need time to heal.."

-Unknown

May I Have Your Attention Please!

2006-04-25T06:43:00.000-07:00

Malling. Entering that huge building with a million stores inside and even more people, NOT my thing. Nevertheless, that is where I found myself the other day with my best friend Salena, along with my two kids. Michael and Mina act like they had just entered an amusement park because we are NEVER there. Salena however, would live there if she could do so without being detected.

Now we're there, browsing around. Salena mentions she would like to go look at bras, so it's off to women's apparel. She makes her selections, tried them on and decided that they are the lucky ones that will be going home with her. Mean while, I'm hangin' out with the kids trying to explaining all the frilly, froo-froo things that are hanging everywhere, to a seven year old BOY!

Salena decides, that I must have one of these frilly undergarments and heads off with Mina to find one, on the other side of the store. I'm with Michael, standing among bras that I just can't believe some women fill out. I swear, my family could live in a few of them.

Shortly after her disappearance I hear from across the store, "HEY VICK, YOU'RE A SIZE 34B.....RIGHT?" I'm standing there, with a women and her teenaged daughter next to me. I turned to them, with my mouth open, wide eyes and hands out as if to say "WHAT is she DOING?" I laughed and told them, "Not really something you want shouted from afar, huh?" They giggled. I didn't know where she was in the store, but I shouted back, "Salena, you may as well have said.....HEY VICK, YOU'RE SMALL, RIGHT?" Still standing next to my new underwear shopping friend, I turned to them and shrugged my shoulders saying, "If you can't beat 'em join 'em!" They were now wiping tears out of their eyes. I'll tell you, it's quite a warm feeling, knowing that you can cause such laughter with your bust size.

I left the store with nothing but the firm realization that numbers read no larger than those of a 14 year old girl, lol!

“You know it's a bad day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better."

-Unknown

Sunday Funnies

2006-04-23T18:54:00.000-07:00

A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy left.

A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours." The guy left.

A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and half." The guy left.

The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey, Bill, do me a favor. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back."

A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?" Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said, "Your house!"

Reflections

2006-04-21T18:58:00.000-07:00

Warm, lazy days of Summer!

"If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable."

- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

NOT, so refreshing!

2006-04-20T18:30:00.000-07:00

"Mommy, I'm thirty"..... "Mommy, may I have something to drink?".... "Mommy, I'm hot!" All these, are statements that are heard throughout my house. I pour drinks and the times they are not finished, I put the remaining in fridge, because I KNOW they will be back.

Well, the kids have gotten into that habit now themselves. They put what they don't finish back in the fridge for a later time. I however, don't always keep up with what's in the cup or how long it's been in there. (I know, a bad, bad Mother) The other evening Michael came whipping in the kitchen, swings open the refrigerator door, grabs his cup and takes a big mouth full. I'm standing at the sink, and he looks at me with these wild eyes has he's headed in my direction. He bumps me out of the way and lets what's in his mouth pour out. I'm now laughing, because whatever he drank was obviously bad. He gets his head out of the sink and asks, "WHAT is in my milk?" I said....Hysterical of course, "Looks like a little cottage cheese to me." Poor kid, he was so grossed out and was sure to tell me so.

My last words..."Guest you won't do that again, huh?" Michaels last comment on the subject..."NO MA'AM!!"

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."

-Woody Allen

What's for lunch?

2006-04-19T18:32:00.000-07:00

Sitting among four First grade classes in the cafeteria during lunch, is always eventful. However, not always in a bad way. While sitting between a group of students I hear to girls discussing their lunch. After much communication , Gracie turns to me and asks, "Ms. V. what is this made of?" She is pointing to her lunch tray. I'm thinking, "hm, I have no idea what the tray is made of, but I better come up with something and it should be somewhat intelligent. "Meanwhile, she was really asking what the chicken leg she had was made of. I told her, "well, when I was in school, the little legs they served like that where from baby dinosaurs." Her look in response to what I had just told her, said it all. I went on to explain that the CHICKEN leg she was eating, most likely was in fact a chicken leg.

As many things that have change since I was a student have lunch, there are still so many that are still the same.

"Chicken one day, feathers the next"

-Unknown

My Love/Hate Relationships

2006-04-17T18:18:00.000-07:00

First, let me just say that hate is a very strong word for me. I very rarely use and actually hate very little. However, injustice, abuse, unfairness are a few things I would say I hated.

Since people do have these, I thought I'd use it for my such relationships.

Love: flip flops
Hate: dirty feet

Love: a bargain
Hate: shopping

Love: driving with my widows down
Hate: hearing only the wind

Love: the Fall season
Hate: bare trees

Love: smooth skin
Hate: shaving/waxing

Love: rainy days
Hate: wet shoes

Love: making up with Honey
Hate: fighting

Love: a pretty flower garden
Hate: weeding

Love: the beach
Hate: sand that hides

Love: wine
Hate: the cork

Love: watermelon
Hate: the seeds

Love: hot showers
Hate: foggy mirrors

Love: sitting by a bon fire
Hate: smelling like smoke

Love: body lotion
Hate: greasy

Love: well behaved kids
Hate: disciplining

So there you have it, the things that makes smile and frown at the same time.

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sunday Funnies

2006-04-15T16:19:00.000-07:00

Clearly, we'll have to practice this kissing thing!

Lights Out

2006-04-14T21:30:00.000-07:00

An early night. It's 10:00 pm with nothing left to do. I check the kids, kiss the Hubbs and head to bed to read for a bit. The peace, was OH so welcomed. However, it was short lived. It wasn't 20 minutes and in staggers Honey.

Not wanting to stop where I was, I asked, "Ah, Honey are you going to ask me to shut the light?" As he's falling into bed he says, "well, Baby ya know?" I laughed at all of his grace and said to him, "yes, I know lots of things, but right now I'd like to know if I have to shut the light." With his eyes already closed, he giggled and threw his arm over me. I'm thinking, "Great!"

Before I found my place again on the page and read three lines, he was in REM. Yay for me. And, one more thing I know, I'm NOT shutting the light!

Question: How can a man, fall asleep in the living room with the TV screaming, lights blaring and uncovered without a problem? Then, come to bed where it's warm and quite with the glow of a bedside lamp and have a problem.

Answer: It's not a problem, he just wants to be a pain in the foot!

The Great Capture

2006-04-13T15:35:00.000-07:00

"Mommy look, we found a baby frog." I heard come from the front of the house. My two hunters come flying in, requesting a container for their prisoner. (Mina already had a plastic drinking cup in her hand) I find a coffee can and they begin chasing the poor hopper around the yard. Finally, their new found friend is apprehended. Michael slams the top on the can and brings it to me in the kitchen.

I asked him to put it on the counter, while I'm grabbing a knife. Michaels eyes became saucers and yelled, "Oh NO Mommy, are you going to KILL him?" (What am I, a beast?) I assured him that I was not killing him, I was just putting air holes in the top.

Back outside, I heard the two of them talking about their new "pet." Mina, being the girl she is asked Michael, "what are we going to name him, Froggy?" Now, Michael being the boy HE is said, "NO, that's a dumb name!" I'm in the kitchen listening, lol. Mina's final response, "Well, YOU'RE just a stinky boy!"

I must say, I think they both have a little rightness about their statements! :)

“We think too small, like the frog at the bottom of the well. He thinks the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he surfaced, he would have an entirely different view."

-Mao Tse-Tung

Birds and the Bees 101

2006-04-12T16:14:00.000-07:00

Question, after question, after question. That's Mina. Wants to know everything, right at the moment it passes through her mind. I never, ever mind answering her and do my very best to do so. However, I must admit it makes my palms sweat at times.

It could be anywhere from, why is the letter S crooked, to how I ever picked the best Daddy, to how something finds it's way out of the ground to grow.

The other evening I thought I would sneak away and take a long, hot shower, shave and just take my time. Near the end, I hear the bathroom door quietly open, then nothing else. I peak out to find Mina perched on the toilet with the lid down and her legs crossed, waiting. (NEVER a moments peace!) I just didn't have the heart to chase her out, there was cleary something on her mind. As I'm getting myself together, its....

Mina: "Mommy, is my body going to be like yours someday?"

Me: (Man, I was hoping it was going to be about the letter S again) "What, you mean like a train wreck?" lol

Mina: "No Mommy, big like you. You know, like on top."

Me: "OK, Mina first, Mommy is NOT big.....but yes, one day you will begin to develop" (she then lefts her jammies and asked me if she was developing yet?) GoodNESS!

Me: Drying my palms.

Mina: "I know when I was a tiny baby I lived in your belly."

Me: "Yes Baby, that's right"

Mina: "And, when I was born, I came out your belly button."

Me: (NOW, drying my forehead) "Yes, well, OK!" (it works for me) I'm SO thankful there hasn't been any inquiry has to HOW she got in there to begin with.

Mina: "When I was a tiny baby, did I like baby food?"

Me: (I see now, I should have chased her OUT!) "Well, when you were first born, Mommy breast fed you"

Mina; "WHAAAAAAT? You mean, I drank from THOSE?" (pointing at me)

Me: "Yes, a Mommy's body makes milk after they have a baby so they can feed them."

Mina: "Oh MAN!!" (laughing uncontrollably)

Me: "What's so funny?" (me giggling now)

Mina: "I can't believe I drank out of them."

Mina: "I'm telling you, a baby is NEVER drinking out of me like that!"

Me: "OK Honey, that's fine!"

Mina leaves the bathroom, still hysterical and I now perch myself of the toilet, exhausted!

As it stands now, Mina will have a baby growing in her belly, it's going to exit from her belly button and when it does, she'll be handing it a sippy cup and it's on it's own!

Ah, the wonder of young minds, WHEW!

"My opinion is that anybody offended by breastfeeding is staring too hard."

- David Allen

I Spy!

2006-04-11T18:44:00.000-07:00

We picked up where we left off last week. Mrs. C. is teaching the second graders how use library resources to do research on a subject. Last week they started, the subject butterflies. The students were paired off and put to work. Today, they were to finish their research and hand it in.

Today I was sitting on the floor labeling AR books. While doing so, the two boys at the table nearest me where laughing, carrying on and just being too loud. I told them they needed to quiet down and get finished before Mrs. C. came to get their work.

The class in over, and all the students leave the library. Thank goodness, peace. Mrs. C. heads my way to help with the monumental task at hand, AR books and says "NO WAY!" Now, Mrs. C. is young. 33 years old, fun, lively, has great ideas, LOVES the kids and her job. She is not at ALL a prude or the librarian of my generation, lol. I asked her what was the matter and she just waved me in her direction. Pointing down at the table where Noah and Zack were sitting, my loud friends, the word F*** was gracing the table top.

Now, there were no other students that sat at this particular table before that class. I said, "I guess it's time to have a little chat with Zack, huh?" It was in front of the chair he was sitting in. He is brought in and questioned. Guess what? He didn't do it! Noah's turn. You aren't going to believe this, but he didn't do it either. Mrs. C. speaks to their teacher, Mrs. R. She comes in to examine the hand writing. Mrs. R. say's "Noah, it's Noah's hand writing....no question." He is brought back in, now, with both Mrs. C. and his teacher, Mrs. R.

I was in the room but far removed from the scene, still I had to laugh. After, repeatedly denying any involvement in the table top graphics, I heard Mrs. R. say, "That's fine. You can say you didn't do it, but when we watch the video tape, we are going to SEE that it's you." I died. Noah responds, "Well, if you see me, it's just someone who looks like me." Ok, now I had to leave the room.

I suspect, Noah caved shortly after returning to class.

Mrs. C. decided she was going to start telling the kids that she has a dwarf person hiding the A/C vent spying on them. That he will be reporting any and all inappropriate behavior to her at the end of each day.

My response, "brilliant!"

Tornados to Tulips

2006-04-10T16:03:00.000-07:00

These vibrant, oh so colorful flowers have always been my favorite. Although they are very short lived, their incredible brightness always brings a smile to my face. As a kid I remember being mesmerized by them in my Mothers garden.

Friday, my home state endured terrible storms. Spending over an hour in tornado lock down at school, knowing the storms were headed in the direction of my husband and unable to location him for over two hours, makes for a very stress filled afternoon.

Honey, finally made it to me and the kids at school, so at least we are now together. The rest of the evening was spent glued to the TV, listening for instruction. Fortunately none came.

Sunday was an amazingly gorgeous day. The sun was shining, skies were blue and the tulips were smiling. As I stood in the kitchen, gazing out the window at my husband, with our two kids in the backyard together enjoying the day, I actually started to cry. I suddenly felt so overwhelmed with gratitude. The storm that struck our neighboring county and took lives was headed in our direction but some how went around us. My mind wondered to the families who had suffered losses and to the people whose lives had changed forever.

Just another reminder of how precious life is. How important it is to say the three little words that seem to be so difficult for so many. I know how blessed I am that my family is still intact and my heart and prayers go out to those whose aren't.

"Each day offers us the gift of being a special occasion if we can simply learn that as well as giving, it is blessed to receive with grace and a grateful heart."

-Sarah Ban Breathnach

Sunday Funnies

2006-04-09T18:20:00.000-07:00

I'd love to hear this one....

Gun IT!!

2006-04-07T11:26:00.000-07:00

Waiting patiently for traffic to clear, this is what I heard from my hot roddin', back seat drivin' son. I glance in the rearview mirror to find his face pressed against the window watching traffic, helping me decide when to pull out. Here are his great words of wisdom...

Michael: "GUN it, Mommy!"

Me: "What gun it, where to you want me to go?"

Michael: "Yeah, gun it out and beat that guy coming."

Me: "Are you kidding me....we'll get whacked!" (Gun it OUT?...man oh man)

Michael: "Giggle....Na Uh!!"

I finally get out and start heading to our finally destination....Scouts. We are in traffic, although not heavy...still traffic just the same. My back seat hot rodder continues.....

Michael: "Come on Mommy, gun it, ONE time."

Me: "What is wrong with you, ya nut....don't you see the cars in front of us?"

Michael: "Ok, at the light there, where we make a right....then do it."

Me: "I can't on a turn, it's dangerous."

Michael: "Well, straighten out and then do it."

I'm about at my wits end with the gunning it thing. So, what do I do...I gun it, ONCE. Just to end the madness. Well, he found it quite funny and....AGAIN.

Michael: "One more time Mommy, please!"

Me: "No Michael I can't, there are always cops hangin' out on this road."

Michael: "So, what will happen?"

Me: "They'll stop us and give me a ticket."

Michael: "A TICKET....to where, the CIRCUS?"

Me: Hysterical!!

I couldn't carry the conversation any further. Once I got myself together, I did explain I would get a ticket for speeding that I would have to pay. He got it. "Oh, like the people we see on the sides of the road with the police?" "EXACTLY!!" (I do however, think they should start the circus thing)

I swear, if it were tickets to the circus they were issuing, in my younger days I would have been spending a lot more time under the "Big Top" NOT in court.

“Time is a circus, always packing up and moving away."

-Ben Hecht